Saying Goodbye

It’s over. A chapter in my life has closed. I have finally graduated from middle school. This week was tough. There were many “lasts.” My emotions have been a swirling mess. I am caught between the excitement I feel about starting graduate school this year and the sadness I feel leaving my kids and a theatre program I’ve poured myself into over the past 4 years.

I didn't tell my kids I was leaving until the end of the week. I put it off as long as I could. Saying goodbye is never easy to do. I made a video to announce to them I was leaving. I decided to go that route because I couldn’t stand in front of my student and tell them I wouldn’t be there next year without crying, and I wanted everyone to get the same message.  I stood at the back of the room fighting back tears as they watched it. So now I turn the page to a new chapter and take a step into a new adventure. Here’s to risk taking and a blank page.

Feel free to watch my goodbye video if you would like.

Winds of Change

Big changes are about to happen in the Gehrlein household over the next couple of months. 

Rewind to the end of September, 2014 with me. 

Brian and I chaperoned a group of around 20 students to see Our Town by Thornton Wilder at KC Rep. Now, I studied this play and eventually assistant directed this show in high school, so I knew everything that was going to happen. I loved it. And then Act 3 came, and oh how it wrecked me. That performance sent me spiraling into tons of questions about what I was doing with my life. Ah the power of theatre. If you don't know the play, do yourself a favor and read it. I promise you won't regret it. 

So began what I think I'll refer to as my quarter life crisis. It hit me hard that I wasn't doing what I set out to do with my life. I had, in fact, settled for a job that pretty much landed in my lap. I can't complain there! I felt like I had been wasting my time. We needed a stable income, and my job provided that. I've never loved my job. It's been hard, exhausting, and I don't get to fully envelop myself in my passion. I have found myself already feeling teacher burnout, and I'm only 4 years in. Most of my job is teaching the public speaking side of my job instead of my passion: theatre. I kept thinking that if I stay I will never leave. The thought terrified me.

I've known since about November that I was not going to return to my position next school year. Right before spring break I let my administration know I would not be returning after May. Fighting off issues with approval and feeling like a failure has been tough. I now become part of a statistic that states that "anywhere between 40 and 50 percent of teachers will leave the classroom within their first five years." (Source) I hate that.

I have taken a literal leap of faith, trusting that I will be provided for as I take this giant leap. I had no plan at the time, but I knew that I was leaving and would not allow myself to look back with regret. I tell my students to take risks all the time, so here I am getting a taste of my own medicine.

I stood with a clean slate. What am I going to do? What do I want to do? I started playing around with the idea that the world was my oyster and dreaming a bit. For fun, I started looking at graduate programs around January, and I stumbled upon a MFA program for Stage Management. "That's a thing!?" I thought to myself. I had no idea. You see, in my undergrad I loved stage managing, so finding this program in my city was like the golden nugget I was digging for.  However, I let thoughts like "They would never take me" and "I don't know if I could really do that" rule my mind, so I brushed the idea of graduate school aside and didn't really seriously consider it. 

A few weeks passed, and I could not shake the idea of applying to the MFA program. I could not stop thinking about it. My husband, of course, kept telling me to just apply.  The final push came when I met with one of my undergrad professors, and he encouraged me to apply. Why not!? The worst they could say is "no". So I applied.

I interviewed with the head of the program just a few weeks ago. I was there for 2 hours. My interview included a complete tour of the facility, and I also met a few graduate students currently in the program. I left feeling positive, but not 100% sure if I was going to be accepted or not. There was only one spot left (they can only take 4 a year for this program), and I would be the least experienced of them all. Was I good enough? Do I have legit experience to do this? Questions swirled in my head for days. I was anxious indeed. But I did everything I could and it was not in my control anymore.

Last week I got a call from the head of the program, and I GOT IN! WHAT?! ME?! Yes. I cannot tell you how excited, nervous, anxious, etc. I am. So many feels. I'm headed off on an awesome/scary/exciting adventure for the next 2.5 years. If you want to know what a stage manager does, click here to get a decent idea.

While yes, this is an incredibly awesome opportunity, don't think I'm not sad to be leaving my current situation. I will most definitely miss the people I work with daily. My building is certainly not perfect, but the staff is incredible. They will do whatever it takes to help our students. I will miss (some) students. I can't imagine how some of them will feel when they find out I'm not there. My heart breaks for that moment. It will be strange not to come into my classroom in August. Like really strange.  It's hard to leave. I recently saw the musical Peter and the Starcatcher, and something that stuck with me was this. As Molly is about to leave her friend Peter forever, she says:

My 4 years at EGMS has definitely meant something. It hurts to leave. I've learned so much, grown a ton, and made many new friendships. 

One of the assignments I give my students is to create a 6 Word Story that describes their life. I tell them it doesn't have to be a complete sentence, or make sense, really. As long as it means something to them that's all that matters. I always provide mine as an example, so here you go: "Trust yourself. Aim for your dreams." I am trusting myself. I'm aiming for my dreams. Are you?

There's a Problem with your Plumbing

Just a few short years ago Brian and I began our adventure as homeowners! The benefits of owning a home seemed to majorly outweigh living the apartment life (and I still think this!).  No sounds from the neighbors through our walls, our own space, giving money toward owning something every month instead of throwing it away to never see it again, decorating the space however we please, no pet fees, etc. The list goes on and on.

Up until a few short weeks ago, we experienced little issues as homeowners. Life was peachy. And then there was that one Monday morning... (begin memory montage)

Climbing out of bed at 5am is always rough, but especially on a Monday after a show weekend (aka little sleep, lots of work). I trudged down to the basement where the dogs' kennels are to get them fed and taken out for the morning. And so began my awful morning....

Awful moment #1:

Little Harry decided to poop all over his kennel, which means that Harry also had poop all over himself. Oy! Little friend, why!? Begrudgingly, I carry him upstairs and give him a quick bath. Not too fond of baths, he spent most of the time trying to jump out, which resulted in me being doused with water as well. Dry the puppy. Drain the water. Poopy puppy problem solved.

Awful moment #2:

As I'm ridding Harry's kennel of the wretched brown mess, I hear the toilet in the laundry room next door gurgle. I think, "Whaaaat is that?" Gurgle....gurgle....gurgle  I approach the bathroom door and open it slowly, afraid of what I might see or smell. To my relief, it was just low on water, so the oh so clever me decided to flush it. Bad idea. Quickly the toilet filled with water and started pouring out onto the floor.

Pause. Have you ever had one of those moments where you just watch something terrible happen, frozen, because you can't believe it's actually happening? That lasted about 5 seconds.

I start a mad dash upstairs to gather as many towels as I can manage in my short arms all the while shrieking to my sleeping husband: "Briiiiaaaan! Heeeelpppp! The toilet in the basement is overflowing everywhere!!!"  I am no plumber, so this was no job for me to fix. Brian, with his mad plumbing skills, quickly thrusted the plunger into the water and got it to stop. I think to myself, "oh, ya, a plunger would have been a good idea..." oops. I decided to just stick with just cleaning up the water.

Awful moment #3:

As I go to get more liquid absorbing materials, I open the storage room door. Holy smokes! We have water coming out from our main drain and spreading across our storage room floor! PANIC MODE ENGAGED (again)! What is happening!?!  Water. all over the floor. Luckily, it didn't get very far before we caught, so we aren't worried about water damage. It could have been much worse. Here's a quick break down of what happened:

1. Water messes happened.
2. me: "Brian, I think we should call a plumber..."
3. Brian: "naaaah, it's fine."
4. Next morning, water. everywhere. again. but worse.
5. Brian text's me at work: "I'm afraid the dog's are going to drown."
6. Me (forgetting my husband is a bit dramatic) panics, leaves work and cleans up mess (that really wasn't all that bad)
7. Me: "Brian, we should really call a plumber..."
8. Brian calls the plumber. Plumber and Brian rip a hole in my wall (!!!) to access the main drain line.
9. Plumber: "Well, folks, you have something wrong with a pipe about 25 feet into your main line."
10. Brian and Katherine: "Ah crap." (no pun intended) We are thinking we have tree roots in our pipes, which would be very bad news.
11. Another plumber comes out with a camera auger. We have a break in our pipe. Outside our house. In the ground. Get the picture?
12. Brian and a friend (thanks, Dane!) rip out part of our front porch so they can dig to the pipe. 
13. Plumbers dig, replace the broken spot, ridiculous amounts of money spent, problem solved. 

I currently have a hole in a wall in my basement, no porch, landscaping destroyed, and giant tread marks in the grass in front of my house. What I do not have is a broken pipe and lots of water problems. For this I am thankful. 

Hole in the wall. Why in the world would you cover the main drain access with a wall?!

Goodbye porch (for now)

The hole. Ugh! It's gone now, but boy was that not fun.

A Look Back at 2014

It’s 2015. Holy moly. Where did 2014 go? I’m finding that every year goes faster and faster. Oy. In some instances, this is fabulous (i.e. school/work), in others it feels like “oh my gosh where did the time go!?” While I’m glad it’s 2015, and I look forward to the adventures this year is going to bring for the Gehrlein family, I'll take a quick moment to look back at the second half of 2014. 

1. The 2014-2015 school year began. The fall semester was a busy one. I don't know that we've ever been this busy. Let's just say we are thankful to be heading into a new semester. To summarize: not much sleep was had - much caffeine was consumed. 

My after school drama club exploded. I went from about 20 kids involved to over 40. Wowza. What I hope to accomplish through my after school program are a few things: 

                  1. Spark a love for theatre.

                  2. Give kids a reason to come to school because they enjoy something about it.

                  3. Provide an environment for students to show off their creativity and excel while doing it, leaving them with something to be proud of. 

                  4. Let kids have fun and play!

I had Parent Teacher Conferences during the World Series.  Seriously!?

2. JT. Oh how could I ever forget seeing Justin Timberlake in concert!?! Loved it. It was a surprise birthday present from my love. Husband points earned! (if that’s even a thing?)

3. The Gehrlein family grew by 4 paws in September.  We welcomed darling Harry into the family. Right now, my furbabies are the only babies I need! Harry is a firecracker and a cutie pie. He has pretty much consumed my free time and all of the space on my phone with pictures of himself. What a selfish pup (ok, fine, I'm obsessed). 

Harry is Toby's literal brother. They have the same parents, but Toby is just over 2 years older than Harry. If you are wondering how we came up with the name Harry, here's how: When Harry was born  he had 12 brothers and sisters; however, something happened and 8 of the pups died. The vet couldn't find any explanation for their deaths, but somehow 5 of the pups were still alive. Harry has a faint white stripe down the middle of his forehead. If you haven't figured it out yet, his name is a reference to Harry Potter. We are officially nerds. 

Let’s just admire how adorable he is.

Brothers.

4. And to end the year, my husband decided to give me a home office space as my Christmas gift. Some of you might think this is utterly boring and lame, but let me tell you, no. I absolutely love having an office space. So, we moved the dogs out of one of our spare rooms and transformed it into an office for me. Can you tell I have an amazing husband? Sheesh, he’s the best.

Before

After

Paint Color: Gravity by Valspar

We both put in several hours on my new office space. I'm totally in love with it! It isn't quite finished, as you don't see anything on the walls. We'll get to that eventually. 

I think that pretty much wraps up the second half of 2014 in as much brevity as I can manage at the moment.  We are looking forward to 2015 as a big year full of some new adventures for us. Here’s to 2015!

The Final Days

These are the final days of summer vacation. Hold on while I freak out/throw a tantrum for a moment….

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 While I officially start back to work this week, I have not been relaxing much lately. In fact, it’s been far from relaxing.  With Brian’s help, I spent two weeks at Pembroke Hill (Primary campus) directing 21 5^th-10^th graders in a staged version of The Hobbit for The Coterie.  Then, another week was spent assisting a class for The Coterie.

The two-week performance camp started with auditions on the first day and ended with two performances the next Friday and Saturday. It was a whirlwind of an experience.  Overall, the performance camp was a blast, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Working alongside Brian reminded me of what we used to do in college, as we spent most of our time together in the theater working on productions. We’ve had people mention to us that they could never work with their spouse, but for us it felt very natural and fun. I feel incredibly lucky to say that I love working alongside my spouse, and I think he would agree.

From 8am-3:30pm everyday, Brian and I worked with these crazy kiddos. While I work with this age group throughout the school year, this bunch was incredibly different. We worked through movement, vocal, and ensemble building exercises without a hitch. When you have an entire group of students hungry for theatre, ready for whatever you throw at them, everything changes. These kids took major risks, followed directions well (woah, this was somewhat new for me…), and had fun doing all of it.  I’m very excited to apply what I’ve learned from this experience back to my classroom.  

And now that the week is upon me that I actually have to head back to real work, I find myself filled with anxiety.  I’ve looked at my rosters, started planning a few units for the year, and thought about my classroom a bit. I anticipate some challenging days ahead of me; this school year is not going to be easy. Thank goodness for prayer and a good husband to lean on. 

Tomorrow I begin waking up early (got to get that internal clock ready for school too!) and filling my day with activities and planning for school. I’d like to say I’m excited, but I won’t lie: I dread this week. No more negative, self! Let’s focus on the positive. Here are some goals I have for this week to kick myself into a positive mindset for the school year:

1.     Focused time for prayer and reflection to mentally prepare my heart and mind for the upcoming weeks and year.

2.     Gym time everyday. This is a major stress reliever for me, and makes me feel good in general.

3.     Plan. Plan. Plan. Did I mention I need to plan? I will use my new planner from Erin Condren to get organized and ready for my classes.

4.     Read a new book (or two!).

5.     Spend some final, much needed, quality time with my husband before the real craziness ensues.

I see this week as a time to mentally prepare myself for the school year. Prayer would be much appreciated.  To all my teacher readers, I feel your bittersweet emotions as we have now entered the month of August.  We can do this!

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